I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Randomize
