Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
