pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
