It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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