he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
