I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just high enough for therapy.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
