Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
