You work out of a Hotel?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
