You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
