apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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