If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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