Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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