Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
