You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
