When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There's always time for handjobs
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
