Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
