Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
