I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
