Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
