More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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