so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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