I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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