I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
