just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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