Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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