Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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