I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
