You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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