oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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