The maid of honor just puked.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We talked him into tasing himself.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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