if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
