Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
