I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
