Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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