I only kidnapped one of them. chill
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
