I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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