he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
