does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
