I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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