Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
