God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
