Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
