i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
