God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
accomplished twins. life is a go
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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