Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
whose parrot is this?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
