lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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