Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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