They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
