My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
