The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
