fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
