I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
