Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
