so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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